RSS Feed
Email
Twitter
What Do First Time Dad’s Need to Know?
By Brian Walters, Director of Adult Ministries @ MBC Loudoun
So any day now my wife (AnnieLaurie) and I are expecting our first born child. For the past year we have been getting ready for this great life change we are about to experience. I’m super excited and super nervous for the day of her birth. Yes, I said her as we are having a girl. Lord willing the
mistakes I make as a father will be far fewer than the great memories our daughter will have of me when she is older. So I simply want to hear from you all as to what you think a first time dad should know, do, or even be ready for as they prepare for this stage in life.
Some of the things I’ve heard to date are prepare for at least a couple of weeks to several months of sleepless nights as this is a rite of passage for all fathers. I’ve been told during the first couple of weeks to make sure my wife has nothing to worry about except for feeding the baby and sleeping. By the way, Lord willing we are breast feeding so I can’t really help out with that one, but I know I can change lots of diapers for her. :)
So what are your thoughts and advice to help out this soon to be dad?
Brian,
Use the resources around you such as……..Grandma Rho. Being a former postpartum nurse I can be of help any time you and you wife need to talk. If you are delivering at TBI, take advantage of the Lactation Department. You may need to request it and you can request if after you have had 24 hours with your daughter to work out the kinks. Even if everything is going great……..play the new parent’s card and have your nurse put you in for a consult. When you do, you will have all the email, phone call help, and 1 free followup for breastfeeding issues with their department.
Right now you and your wife are concentrating on the baby. After about 3 weeks…….you need to leave the baby at home with someone competent and date your wife. Remember, she is your first earthly love and then your daughter comes next. You and your wife need that time alone for yourselves even if it’s to take a nap or go for coffee. I know the two of you will have a hard time doing this but the baby will survive. If you don’t have family in the area I will gladly help out in this area.
When your daughter gets a bit older, say around 2, you need to start dating her. Those special times with just dad will do more for your relationship than you know. Make the time special and put it on your calendar. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT FOR ESTABLISHING THAT FATHER/DAUGHTER BOND. Unless you have established a special bond early in life it won’t be as easy for her to “talk” to you about things that are bugging her. Trust me, I know about this one.
I could talk your ear off but the biggest thing is……………use your resources and don’t think that you are bothering us…….because you are not.
Enjoy ever second of her life growing up. It goes by way way way to fast.
Blessings,
Rho
Thanks Rho for your advice and I will definitely call you if I have any questions. I really liked your advice on the importance of continuing to date your wife. I couldn’t agree more on the importance of doing this.
We hope all goes well with the delivery!
The best parenting thing I have learned so far was to memorize James 1:5. Even if you have read lots of parenting books, situations will come up in which you can’t figure out what to do. God promises to give us wisdom if we ask him. I have prayed James 1:5 times without number, and I’m sure I will be praying it for a long time to come.
For parenting of kids past the baby stage, I have found these to be very helpful:Deuteronomy 6:4-9–always teaching and talking about God’s Word all through our days,
and Proverbs–I read through the whole book and wrote down every verse that pertained to disciplining children. That was exceptionally helpful.
Speaking of books, the best ones I found to be helpful in getting babies on a regular routine and sleeping through the night were Babywise and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.
We also took the whole “Growing Kids God’s Way” class which is basically the same thing as Babywise/Toddlerwise/etc. That is a great foundational course.
We hope all goes well for you and your new little person!
Hi Rhonda,
This is very wise and great advice. We began praying with Lucy Kate as soon as she was out of her mother’s womb. ? This is a good reminder in that we always need to point our children towards God.
Lucy Kate and mom are doing well and thanks for passing along this wisdom. I will definitely take this too heart.